Make Jobs, Not War

I found this cartoon a while ago, and I just kept it bookmarked. But I think now would be a good time to use it.

Like the guy in the cartoon, I’m about to graduate. But it just so happens there’s a recession going on. And it just so happens I want a career that’s not in demand and already pays pretty crappy.

But my fear of graduating after spending $20,000 and countless hours studying and overcoming last-minute project panic attacks, oh, and not finding a job after all that, isn’t the entire point of this post. As the cartoon suggests, this has something to do with war.

I’m going to say something "daring" now. Ready?
Unemployment in the US is the highest it’s been in 25 years because of a certain $3 trillion war (for the most part).

$3 trillion?! I don’t even know what that means. That’s like 12 zeros with a 3 on the end.
Now here I go attempting to do math: $3 trillion + 1 big war – nearly 100,000 lives = 1 giant mistake.


When I showed my mom this cartoon, she thought it might be offensive to soldiers. That’s not what I’m saying here. I know people who have fought in Iraq, and people who still are, so I’m definitely not trying to insult them (or anyone else who’s risked or given their lives for that matter).

My own personal turmoil aside, and that of the thousands of unemployed Canadians (which still isn't that bad considering), wouldn’t it really suck to go to war in a foreign country, get shot at, see your friends get injured or killed, only to come home and not be able to find a job?

It’s almost like history keeps repeating itself…

How to be Green (spoof)

If you don’t know the environment is in trouble, you must be living in a cave. If you’ve seen The Day After Tomorrow and weren’t scared out of your mind, you must not be human. For those who were, you know what will happen if we don’t change our ways.

Tidal waves will take out the most popular American cities; Canada will instantly be covered in snow; the only people who will survive will be rich, powerful, celebrities. Don't give them the satisfaction!

Follow these green tips and you can hold off environmental collapse, at least until the end of your lifetime.

1. Don’t Drive...Less

Even though most major highways now have carpool lanes, you can still be environmentally- friendly when driving alone. First of all, keep your speed above 100 km/hour – the faster you drive, the faster you’ll get where you want to go, and the less gas you’ll use.

Secondly, if you're planning to buy a car, a fuel-efficient one is a smart choice. It may be less expensive and less polluting to take a bus, but let’s face it, a hybrid is just more convenient (and you don’t have to worry about sitting on someone else’s gum).

Besides, cow farts are the primary cause of methane gas pollution anyway, and that’s hardly your fault. In fact, by 2040, the government plans to harness methane gas as an alternative fuel, or at least utilize it for wind power.

2. Don’t let it Mellow

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.” This is a fool’s motto. Letting things “mellow” means that extra-dirty toilet water is being flushed into our lakes and rivers, which are becoming increasingly crappier.

As a result of this scarcity of clean water, many cities have designated water use restrictions; however, if you don’t want to risk your beautiful rosebushes to dehydration, you can still be green by watering your plants with a watering can filled with tap water instead of a hose. Your neighbours won’t even know. Plus, roses are part of the environment too.

3. Don’t Donate

We all know that newspapers, pop cans, and water bottles are recyclable. But more and more people are starting to recycle their old clothes, furniture, books, and electronics by donating them with the belief that they're creating less waste.

In reality, when you donate your old possessions, you’re just wasting gas in order to get there. Also, people who buy what you decided was too good for you will likely wash them before use, thereby wasting water as well. The landfills aren’t getting any smaller, so what’s another pair of socks or entire living room set?

4. Don’t Flick Off

Sadly, there is no way to conserve electricity. We always have something on: the television, the computer, the lights, the razor, the washing machine, the dryer, the hair straightener, the refrigerator, the microwave, the coffee-maker, the vacuum, the cell phone charger, the blow dryer, the PlayStation, the air purifier, street lamps, some vehicles, McDonald’s golden arches, highway billboards, and office building lights, photocopiers, fax machines, and of course, the logo on the outside.

There's really no avoiding it, so just take advantage of electricity while you still can.


And remember: Don’t stop buying. Just buy green.

The Queen: Dinosaur or Dinosauroid?

In my post, “Human Rights Can be Funny Too,” I mentioned conspiracy theorist David Icke.

For those who aren’t familiar with Icke’s work, he’s pretty much famous for spreading the idea that the world is being controlled by a secret society called the Illuminati, which he believes is comprised of reptilian-humanoids (a term that can also be substituted with Snakepeople, Reptoids, Lizardfolk, Lizard People, or the lamest of the bunch, Dinosauroids).

Icke claims that George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, Hillary Clinton, and Tony Blair are just a few members of this scaly clan.

This sounds crazy, I know. Like something right out of The X-Files. (Actually, I’m pretty sure the overarching plot of the super amazing show that should have never ended was based on this theory.)

But I found this video on kindastrange.net, my new go-to for paranormal news, which actually makes the whole Icke-reptoid thing seem more convincing. It talks about the different cultures around the world that believe humans are descended from, and even created by, reptiles.

Strange thing is, the only places that don’t have these beliefs are places where the government and Church have dominated knowledge and understanding. (Oh, so that’s why it sounds so insane!)



As if the evidence against our leaders being human couldn’t be any more damning.


By the by, you can get your own Dinosauroid Queen paraphernalia at Teach the Controversy.

YouTube, ITube, WeAllTube: Response to An Anthropological Introduction to YouTube

Whenever I tell people I’m in MIT (Media, Information, and Technoculture), they always ask, “What do you do? Watch movies in class?” And when I say, “yeah, sometimes,” they give me this disappoint head shake, as if that’s nothing. As if what we’re doing doesn’t matter, or is so easy and fun that it’s completely pointless.

This is not the case. At all.

As Marshall McLuhan said (and I think this quote might actually be the MIT catchphrase), “The medium is the message.” The reason we watch movies, TV shows, news broadcasts, and YouTube in class, is because everyone does it. Because media affects us and plays such a major part of everyday life, us MIT-ers are just trying to find out the why and how.

In the YouTube video, “An Anthropological Introduction to YouTube,” there was one line in particular that caught my attention: “When media change, human relationships change.” So why shouldn’t it be studied?

Without TV, the internet, and cell phones, we probably wouldn’t be alone as much. We might not even feel the need to be as self-expressive, to set ourselves aside form the anonymous mass. Being separated/fragmented individuals, it’s obvious we want a solid community. It just so happens that YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and the blogosphere is it.



People were offended and hurt when lonelygirl15, for example, was revealed to be fake, resulting in a YouTube “authenticity crisis.” You wouldn’t want your friends or family to lie to you, so why is it any different when your online friends (people you trust and talk to and listen to) aren’t who you thought they were? It brings the loneliness back, and people don’t like that feeling. No one likes to be played like that.

Sometimes...no, every time I YouTube I find the rudest comments (and some I can’t even read because apparently spelling and grammar are a thing of the past). I almost want to tell them to shut the F up if they’re going to be so negative, but then it really wouldn’t be YouTube.

The anonymity of the “invisible audience” is what makes YouTube a place for and of authenticity; if everyone knew it was really YOU speaking, you might not say what you really think. You might not even bother to say anything.

Newspapers, the telephone, the radio, the television, and the Internet have all changed the way we work, interact, think, and basically live. But there’s one scenario that can change everything, and I mean, everything: a power outage.

Imagine you couldn’t watch TV, check your email, drive, buy groceries, check your email again, text your BFF, cook. Our world as we know it would fall in on itself; without our technology and our media, we’d be completely lost and probably very lonely.

Then again, it might mean we’d start connecting more physically, say, having a conversation with someone while in the same room. Not that we don’t do that now, but now we have a choice not to.

See? There's more to MIT than just “watching movies.”

Now watch this movie.

There's No Such Thing as a UFO

Naturally an article called, “UFOs Do Not Exist” caught my attention, especially when it’s in UFO Digest. But being a big believer in extra-terrestrial intelligence myself, it seems UFO’s really don’t exist. Of course! I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before.

What thousands of people report as UFOs are actually “IFOs” (Identified Flying Objects) or “IPFOs” (Intelligently Piloted Flying Objects). If they aren’t part of some sort of military project, or the creation of pranksters with lots of money and serious engineering capabilities, then we should know exactly what they are, right? What we should be doing is questioning what’s inside.

So I guess when skeptics disregard the claims of “IFO” witnesses, what they’re really unsure of is the existence of UIPIFOs (Unidentified Intelligent Pilots of Identified Flying Objects).

That was a mouthful. Maybe I’ll just stick to using “UFO.” Plus, I think I’d get more strange looks if I said, “I saw a UIPIFO,” should it ever happen.

But according to an uncovered secret Ministry of Defense report, it never will...unless I plan to visit plasma fields anytime in the future.

"Local fields of this type have been medically proven to cause responses in the temporal lobes of the human brain. These result in the observer sustaining his or her own vivid, but mainly incorrect, description of what is experienced.”

One question: why would people hallucinate UFOs?


(Image: Daily Mail. Also check out this crazy-awesome UFO image from The Sun)

Design your Own Baby?

Thanks to The Fertility Institute, children of the future will actually be able to blame their parents for everything that’s wrong with them. Can you imagine? “Mom, I have a zit! Why didn’t you design me so I wouldn't have acne?”

That’s right... DESIGN. The Fertility Institute in New Orleans uses science called Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD), which not only allows doctors to eliminate certain diseases like Down Syndrome and muscular dystrophy, but gives parents the option to choose their baby’s sex, eye colour, hair colour, and even skin colour. Creepy!

What’s next? Putting calculators and CD Roms in their brains? How about wings? No, no! The ability to live forever! Muahahaha!

Actually, come to think of it, if you could be born without any defects (well, at least that’s the hope), that would probably mean living a lot longer.

But design your own baby? That sounds like some kind of sick Frankenstein creation, and we all know how well that turned out. Not that I wouldn’t want to be able to fly or anything; the whole thing is just really weird. And isn’t it a slap in the face to all of us who were born like normal people, with flaws and quirks and all that? What, we’re not good enough?

And, now that I think of it (while watching a make-over show no less), with the standard “ideals” our society holds, wouldn’t everyone be born – or, emerge from a glass jar – looking and acting the same?

Yep, that’s one giant leap for semi-humankind.

(Image: Sebastian Niedlich (Grabthar) How perfect is that?)

Questions for Pro-Lifers

The other day when I went grocery shopping I spotted some pro-life protesters across the street waving “Stop abortion” and “This hospital kills babies in the womb” signs.(Image: NewsPick.) I had one immediate response when I saw this: What exactly do they mean by “Stop Abortion”?


But the questions didn’t stop there.

Does stopping abortions mean all abortions, no matter the reason or circumstance?
Does this also include rape victims?
What about 13-year-olds who, at 13, simply aren’t ready to become parents?
Are the people protesting for abortion bans the same people who oppose safe-sex education in schools? (Because if so, that would be messed up.)
Isn’t the world already over-populated?
What about the recession? What if the would-be parents can't afford a child?
Aren’t couples who have abortions heartsick by their decision? Why should it be made any harder for them?
What if the mother has health problems and the pregnancy threatens her life?
What about violent pro-life protesters? Doesn’t violence negate the pro-life cause?
Would banning abortions cause private “clinics” to be set up?
Why not let people make their own decisions?
Would denying people that option deny them certain freedoms?
Why aren’t people more sexually responsible?
Would banning abortion result in less unwanted pregnancies?
Will this debate ever end?

So many questions. Please share your thoughts.

Check out The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform and Stats Canada for abortion statistics.